My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
