I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
