her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You're like the curious george of whores
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
