she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
