you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
