i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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