oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
she told me i tasted like america
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
