Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize