"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
