Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
