this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
