the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
