is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Randomize
