She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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