What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
