What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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