he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
