Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
