I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Don't make out with my wife yet
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
im holly from the hills drunk
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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