As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
My balls are so social today.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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