Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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