Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
