sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
