cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
