i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
