i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
