My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
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