Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
