I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
