Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
