a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
