I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We just shotgunned beers for America
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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