So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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