okay pat passed out under dana's car
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize