Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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