My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
