Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Send help, water and tortillas.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
