it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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