I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
