She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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