She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
