Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
