So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
