I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
