I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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