jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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