i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
