everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Is it penis luge time yet?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
