How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You need a sexual gate keeper
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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