I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I think i peed on brittanys purse
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize