ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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