Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize