would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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