The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
