Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
