Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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