she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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