Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
