ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
