handjob tips. give me some.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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