Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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