uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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