i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize