my mouth tastes like poor choices
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
