If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
