i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I am one with the molecules
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
