So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
