How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
