she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I want her autograph on my taint
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
