I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
