The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
