so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
