it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
where are you?
Hypothermia
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
