I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
