White coat. Heels.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You smell like stripper and shame
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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