I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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