After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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